So I'm not going to lie...
I've got the movie theater blues, bad! I've been wanting to get back into a theater and watch movies, just like we used to back in the good ol' days, pre COVID-19. But alas, the world is a different place and I don't get to do that yet. Hopefully soon there will be a way we can all get together again and watch movies in theaters and laugh and cry all together. It's really a cathartic experience, which is also why I truly believe movie theaters will live on. But for now, I get to watch new releases from the comfort of my home.
Bill and Ted was one of my favorites growing up as a kid in the 80's. Just enough zany antics to keep any young boy giggling away. The pop culture references of the 80's was all throughout it. It was just a fun ride and got to do something fun that school kids could connect with, which is putting on a history report with the real people to do it for you. The sequel was another fun adventure but dealt with heaven and hell, and even aliens. It was fun.
So when Bill and Ted: Face the Music became available, I had a good feeling this would rekindle my old love of the series and help me get through my movie theater blues. After watching, I declared this movie to be "most non-triumphant."
The movie is pure fan service, from beginning to end. That can only get you so far. There was so much more Bill and Ted traveling in time to go talk to themselves, which got old really fast. Their kids are just female versions of themselves and nothing to do with the princess babes they rescued in the first movie, other than they are females. The "historic" musical figures they collect to put the band together was just kind of "meh." I wanted more Genghis Kahn savaging a mall wearing football pads, or Napoleon going down waterslides.
Instead we're treated with "hey you made music in the past, come with us for a jam session." This is what Bill and Ted's daughters do while they are off trying to steal the universe saving song from themselves. To not spoil anything of note, they all end up dead and on Death's doorstep, literally. But then they get into an argument about how Death was breaking up the band and argued about the falling out. It's a shame that all the returning characters from the old movies didn't really get a chance to shine. Bill and Ted also seem to have no character arc at all in the past 20 years since we have seen them. Ted maybe a little more so, but maybe that's because Keanu Reaves is a much seasoned actor, who can thank the original movie for giving him his stardom, so he put in a little more effort here... just a little.
I was expecting zany, stupid and off-the-wall things to happen. That's just what this is. But I was left disappointed that it all seemed so rushed. The pacing is rushed, including the finale which almost cuts to credits with a murderous slash in the middle of the song. The production looks like it was rushed with far too many green-screen shots than I bet any of the past movies combined. It also looks like it was cheaply made. But then again, that was true to the style of the first two movies, but I feel they could have tried a little harder. There's a part where they go to ancient China and you can easily see camouflage netting just through the trees and fog. They obviously shot somewhere like the gardens of the Huntington Library in Los Angeles and needed to block out all the modern buildings and used that. Again, it seemed rushed and cheap. And don't get me started on the "murder robot" that was trying to be a Terminator.
To be fair, I still giggled at some parts. I smiled and laughed when there were inside moments that built on the past movies. But to me, it was too few and far between. If the movie happens to come on your streaming service, and you liked the past movies, give it a watch. Don't pay for it specifically. I was left wanting more... and I'm not sure what else I really could have asked Bill and Ted for, which was totally bogus.